A Chat with Blog on Mary Robison, the ultimate minimalist

Dear Blog,
Sorry for staying out of touch for so long. Pls don't take it personally. It's ME, entirely. I've had the blues for a long time because of Mary. Robison. She's so good that I got all melancholic thinking I could never write like her.
'Silly girl.'
'U're there. That's a nice surprise!"
"Why would any writer want to write like ANOTHER writer?"
"Heavy repetition there, but, hey, u're too smart for a blog, u know that? How was the H1N1 trip? Did you have high fever and cold-shivers angst? Did you start grunting like a pig in the first week?"
"I think ur blues have completely blurred ur imagination."
"I heard some blogs had those particular symptoms."
"I didn't even get H1N1. I got H1N2."
"Haha, aren't u a seer? So what's the next animal?"
"Squirrel. Yes, don't laugh, the squirrel flu."
"How did u get on it and how did u get off it?"
" On: I befriended a squirrel at an IT conference. (Don't give me that look, blogs need to socialize as well.) Off: I ate linksful of hazelnuts topped with acorn HTMLs. It helped. So what about this Mary Robison?"
"She's sooo funny, bloggie, while talking about very serious things, you know, like fallen apart marriages, poverty, drug addict and raped kids."
"Now that sounds like good, wise, positive thinking literature. Something I would really like to read before going to bed."
"Hey, that's life. And she does a hell of a job to portray drama in haiku-like diary entries. Simply brilliant. Sigh, here, bloggie, can u hear it?''
"Hold ur spirits high, now, Cake. Fortunately there's no limit to fiction. It's elastic like our bouncing universe. You can write your own stuff, and then Mary Something will say, "Who is this girl? She's brilliant!"
"You do sound corny, bloggie, but u're a good chap. How about some icecream?''
"If it's on u. I had to cut down on some settings due to the budget cuts."
"Oh, and how is the blogger affected by the change?"
"Oh, nothing much. You won't be able to publish long posts, like a novel."
"Makes one more responsible. A true minimalist.
Lemon or chocolate?"